I have been really looking forward to exploring new creative hobbies and getting back to my ever-growing to-be-read pile this year. So far, I have been keeping a sketchbook journal, drawing with acrylic markers, being creative with fashion, baking new things, painting wooden beads, and slowly learning embroidery. I also got a cross-stitching kit for Christmas, so that’s next on the list.
I started reading John Berger’s “Bento’s Sketchbook.” There is something nice about not having chapters—his thoughts just flow from one page to another. It feels like spending an afternoon with a wholesome old man.
Being snowed in reminds me a bit of lockdown. And the world feels heavy in a different way. I catch myself yearning for community, waiting for a neighbor to come knocking on our door, perhaps to borrow some sugar (or toilet paper?).
Are you snowed in, too? How is everyone feeling? Do you have new hobbies you want to explore (or already started) this year? Any books you’re currently enjoying?
Full Moon
The beginning of this year feels different.
I lost my aunt 4 days into the new year. Paranasal sinus cancer had spread to her brain, and the doctors said it was too late for any treatment. I wish it was a bad dream. She had been like a mother to me. When I was growing up, both of my parents frequently worked seven days a week, so my aunt would take care of me and my brother on most weekends. When I left Thailand three years ago for my MFA, I gave my aunt a hug goodbye, not knowing it meant forever. While I grieve her loss, a part of me still feels like she should be there when I return.
At the same time, I feel the kindness of God in all of this. My aunt didn’t experience the level of pain typically associated with this type of cancer, and she found peace in a belief in Jesus through her diagnosis. The hopefulness surrounding her loss also inspired my other aunts and uncle to want to hear more about God.
It feels to me like an end and a beginning at the same time. I look at life a little differently and say “I love you” a little more unsparingly.
It was a full moon on the night that she passed. I remember my aunt mentioning how she did not like her name because it sounds old-fashioned. Her name, จันทร์เพ็ญ means “full moon.” Now that I am older, I think it’s a beautiful name and it suits her. I know I will miss her every time I see the moon. In fact, I will miss her everyday.
Day 4: Evergreen. Woke up to beautiful morning light in our festive space, so I did my best to capture it. Loving our tree and mixed garland this year (and of course that fresh pine scent that fills the hallway).
#mbdec
Thought it’d be fun to join the December photo challenge—the prompts are so fun! Here is day 3: firelight. Today’s prompt reminded me that I should light candles more often, especially in the colder months.
#mbdec
Today is my birthday. 34 times around the sun—how did I get so old? I usually don’t talk much about my birthday. It can feel kind of funny, like “hey, celebrate me!” You know? Maybe because we usually don’t make too big of a deal on birthdays in Thailand (at least not in my family anyway). But as I get older, I am allowing myself to celebrate myself more. I am thankful to be alive and I’m just grateful. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do this year, so I invited two of my friends over last minute for some lighthearted watercolor painting. I was going to buy some flowers so we could paint them, but I caved last minute and bought some fun looking veggies instead (and hey, we can eat them later!). My husband, Jacob, made a triple berry and lemon galette with thyme crust and homemade whipped cream for me (with vegan butter and non-dairy cream of course because lactose intolerance). It was so wonderful. He also got me an embroidery kit—something I’ve been wanted to try for a while now. My friends Claire and Nikki brought me cards and flowers. We spent the afternoon enjoying the berry galette with a pot of earl grey and painting some veggies and flowers. My heart is full.
I felt inspired so I did a whimsical little illustration of what I wore today. This has been my go-to outfit this summer (alternating between these two pairs of mary jane shoes and my two favorite handmade bags from Thailand). And no, I do not wear heirloom tomatoes. I’ve been into heirloom tomatoes lately—just the look of them I guess, because I haven’t eaten any recently. Anyways, I have so much fun mixing and matching colors, textures, and patterns when it comes to clothes. These olive yellow linen shorts paired with the boxy light blue button-down make me want to dance. I’ve worn this to the secondhand bookstore, the local boutique shop, a grocery run, soil shopping (to re-pot our poor plants), the library, etc. Maybe I should wear this to the farmer’s market sometime. I suppose I should fill my closet with multiple of these and have one outfit for the entire season. Summer is my jam because you can have so much fun wearing colorful things. 🎨🖌️
Hello there. Here I am in my 30s writing my first blog post EVER (better late than never, right?). My name is Sai and I’m from Bangkok, Thailand. My blog is called oatmilk because I’m lactose intolerant. And here’s a picture of me on expired film.
